Ms. Ross

Food & Beverage

The Art of Listening

By Susie Ross, Founder, Waiter Training

Some might sum up the "art of listening" in two simple words: SHUT UP! While I think that is definitely a major part of listening, I think it is only part of the art when serving guests in a restaurant. Servers must listen not only to what guests are saying, they must also listen to what guests are not saying. Servers have to know what questions to ask in order to find out how to best serve their guests.

Guests will usually tell you everything you need to know without ever saying a word. Before they ever go to greet their guests, servers should be reading their body language and gauging who they are and why they're in our restaurant.

Typically, it's not a good idea to make assumptions about someone, or, as the saying goes, judge the book by its cover. In the restaurant business, that's one of the most important parts of our jobs! For absolute certainty, we can safely assume two things:

We have to assume those things; why else are we in business? So it's been established that we have to make some assumptions about our guests. Servers have to also read further into their "reading" of the guests.

How they are dressed and how they behave, for example, will tell the server 85% of what he needs to know. Attire can tell him if people are on a date, on a business meeting or out to have a good time with friends. The other 15% will be verbal.

People will tell you when they are in a hurry. If it's lunchtime, they may have to get back to work within an hour or less. If it's dinner, they may be trying to get to a movie at a certain time. Sometimes people won't tell you and that is why, especially at dinner, a server should ask if guests are pressed for time or if they want to relax and take their time. Servers who know how to read their tables will learn quickly how to determine if someone is in a rush. It's safe to assume that most lunch-goers need to get in and out faster than dinner guests.

Some wait staff have a natural way of asking guests if they are out celebrating or just out to relax and have a good time. The response is important. If they're out celebrating an anniversary or a birthday, the server has a reason to suggest, suggest, suggest! A great server will do that anyway; it seems a bit more impressive when he remembers what guests are celebrating and uses it to suggest items on the menu.

The exceptional server who is skilled in the art of listening will take in what a guest's needs are and think for him. There are guests who have certain food or dietary requirements. Just because someone is on a diet or has special requirements doesn't mean he should stay at home while everyone else goes out and has a good time. Listen when a guest says he can't have any meat or dairy products, for example. If he orders the vegetarian burrito plate with those specifications, the knowledgeable and listening server will point out that the refried beans are made with pork fat. He will also remember to leave the sour cream off and make sure the cook doesn't sprinkle her usual garnish of cheese on top of everything.

Believe it or not, there are restaurants that claim certain foods are vegetarian, yet are made with a pork, beef or chicken stock. Servers should know these items and be prepared to steer the afore-mentioned person in a different direction on the menu.

Suggestive selling should be happening even if there are no dietary restrictions. The server should first determine what kind of dinner experience the guests are looking for and suggest accordingly.

For example, guests on a date should have a bottle of wine recommended. A large group of friends should have appetizers recommended to get them started while they have a few cocktails. People celebrating a birthday or anniversary should have lots of suggestions to make the evening more enjoyable and memorable.

While suggestive selling is a great technique to boost the check average, the server has to read and understand when he has guests that are not appreciating his efforts. There are those customers who know exactly what they want. What they don't want is their server trying to sell them appetizers or sides or premium vodka for their martinis. That's ok! If the server is paying attention, he'll know exactly what he needs to do to make those people happy. Leave them alone!

This all seems very confusing and almost as if we expect servers to be mind-readers. Actually, we expect them to be skilled listeners. Ok, we do kind of expect them to be mind readers! Let's not put that into any job descriptions, though!

The response to the server's initial greeting will usually tell what kind of service guests want. The greeting must include a suggestive sell of a specific beverage. I consider it to be a great way to investigate the guest and find out how they want to be served. One can determine a lot by a guest's response to a greeting that includes a suggestive sell from the bar and other beverages. A positive response with questions is a sign that the customer is interested in being guided through the dining experience, and making it better by doing so.

Likewise, if a guest responds to your greeting with a "No, I'll just have some water and a cup of coffee," the server will probably understand that this person just wants what she wants and no frills. Tone of voice and body language should also tell the server what he needs to do to make his guest's dining experience comfortable and accommodating. If her tone of voice is nice and calm and her body language says she's open to other suggestions later in the dining process, then it's ok to proceed as normal. Suggest until she stops it.

The way a server up-sells is key. Once a server has read his guests, he should assume the proper body language and tone of voice. This is an intangible that can't be trained. Some people have an innate ability to "mirror" their guests; others plod through with no regard for their guests' wishes or attitude. It's an essential part of the art of listening.

What it comes down to is the little things - excellent service is in the details. Servers have to become pro-active in their thoughts and very organized in their actions.

Pay attention to the guests and what and how they order. If they are having a difficult time selecting from the menu, the thinking server is prepared to offer suggestions. If guests tell the server they're in a hurry, he should offer choices that are satisfying and quick. You will always gain repeat customers when you give them five-star service in a fast-food time frame.

So, yeah...shut up. And listen while your mouth isn't moving. About that mind-reading thing...if you can manage to find and hire them, do it!

Susie Ross founded Waiter Training. She holds a degree in Speech/Communications with an emphasis in Theatre, from Metropolitan State College of Denver and has made a successful career of selling and serving food and beverages. Her background in the restaurant business includes fast-paced, breakfast and lunch service and a more formal, evening and dinner atmosphere. Building confidence in both experienced and inexperienced staff has become her trademark. Susie believes servers must approach the table with confidence and an ability to sell the menu, irrespective of the type of restaurant. Ms. Ross can be contacted at 720-203-4615 or susan@waiter-training.com Extended Bio...

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