Mr. Van Slyke

Human Resources, Recruitment & Training

The Art of Listening: The Key to Successful Complaint Resolution

By Erik Van Slyke, Founding Partner, Solleva Group

Customer complaints are a regular part of the hotel business. Even hotels known for service excellence receive a daily litany of grievances from dissatisfied guests. Some complaints are clear, direct and easy to understand. Others are expressed more subtly, less verbally, and in the worst case scenario, by a lack of repeat business.

No matter whether the feedback is justified or nothing more than the grumblings of chronic complainers, the way we resolve the complaints of guests makes a lasting impression. Our ability to listen, in particular, can give us important clues to help us navigate the interactions effectively.

An event sales manager once explained, half in jest, that his job would be much easier if he did not have to "deal with customers." Of course, he realized the flaw in his statement, but he expressed something most hotel employees have felt at one time or another.

"The challenge with customers is that simple issues often are complicated by emotions,” he continued. “If customers would only present their problems objectively, we could have a logical conversation and create solutions. But that’s never how it works. All too often, the complaint comes at you like a personal attack. No matter how I try to meet their needs, I end up spending more time dealing with their emotional reactions than solving problems."

The most powerful influence affecting our ability to resolve conflict is human emotion. According to research by Roger Bennett, professor of marketing at the London Metropolitan Business School, nearly 50% of customer complaints are motivated directly by the desire to vent frustration. Even when the customer is not consciously aware that venting is part of their agenda, other research suggests that the negative emotion motivating the desire to complain is still lurking near the surface of the conversation. As a result, and despite our hopes to the contrary, resolving customer complaints is always dependent upon navigating emotional issues.

The reason for this is best explained with a brief explanation of how the human brain works.

The brain has two different ways of processing information. The first mode is rational. Operating in the neocortex, it is the mode of our conscious and is thoughtful, analytical, and reflecting. Operating simultaneously, and often independently, is a second mode that is impulsive and often illogical. This emotional mode is quicker and more powerful than the rational mind. Controlled by the amygdala, the emotional mind takes in whole chunks of information and acts immediately without thinking. It determines such primitive reactions such as whether we should fight or flee.

Unfortunately, the emotional mind often interferes with the ability of the rational mind to process information. Since it is in charge of life or death decisions, it operates based on its perceptions of the data. How information seems or what it reminds us of is far more important than the reality of that information. The emotional mind associates current information with the feelings or moods of the memory and reacts to the current situation without distinguishing it from the past.

The rational mind, in contrast, is not as interested in associations as it is with objective information. It wants facts, figures, and data. It wants to weigh the information carefully, analyze it, contemplate it, compare it to past data, and produce logical behavioral output. But by the time the rational mind has completed its examination, the faster and more action-oriented emotional mind has generated emotion and behavior. It may be the wrong emotion and behavior, but by then, it is too late and leads to cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling we get when we hold two contradictory ideas simultaneously. The ideas might include facts, perceptions, beliefs, behaviors, attitudes or opinions. And when we have this feeling, we are motivated to reduce dissonance by changing our attitudes, beliefs and behaviors, or by justifying our attitudes, beliefs and behaviors.

Dissonance occurs when one idea suggests the opposite of another. For example, belief that the hotel is responsible for minimizing the noise in the guest room is conflict with idea that the customer requested a street facing room in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. The inner conflict leads to dissonance which can be felt as stress, anxiety, frustration, anger, grief, the blues or other negative emotional states.

Since these feelings are “bad,” and interfere with our desired state of harmony, we do everything we can to get rid of the negative emotion. Our choices are:

1. To realize the error of our ways and modify our belief—change our rational mind, or
2. Dig in our heels, put up our dukes and create additional reasons why we are right.

Guess what happens when a guest complains?

So, before we begin to explore the solutions for our customer, we have to at least recognize that their emotional mind is creating strong mental and physical feelings that may interfere with our ability to solve the rational problem. Unless we address the emotion, we will not be able to address the complaint and achieve satisfactory resolution.

Listening is the Foundation

When guests complain, the typical first response is to provide the rational answer we think will solve the problem. We do it with good intentions and the desire to provide a good experience for the customer. Sometimes that is all it takes to satisfy the need, but with our understanding of how the brain works, we can see why this might be ineffective.

Then, to continue with our scenario, when the guest continues complaining, we try harder to explain the solution in greater detail. Again we have good intentions, but we are still focused on the logical, not the emotional. Finally, when our explanation does not work, we call upon our manager to meet with the customer and provide additional solutions, an explanation of the formal customer complaint process, and the forms to complete to escalate the complaint.

The end result? Customers walk away from interactions feeling frustrated. They do not feel as if we have listened. Even when the problems are solved, and when by all accounts the guests should be pleased, they do not feel understood or valued. Their request might be satisfied, but they leave interactions feeling dissatisfied emotionally.

Listening is the key to constructive complaint resolution.

Satisfying the customer emotionally is not about solving the problem. Instead, it is about listening to and understanding the customer’s perspective. Only after we have listened to them will they be ready to listen to us. Only after they feel understood will they be ready to understand and accept the solutions we propose.

By seeking first to identify and understand the needs and interests of others, we create an environment that lets them voice their thoughts and opinions. Listening gives the emotional mind a chance to breathe. It allows the slower rational mind to catch up and influence the perceptions generated by the rapid-firing emotional mind. Often, if we listen to the customer long enough, they will identify the very solution we were going to propose. At that point we are being responsive to their needs as opposed to unresponsive to their emotions.

Most of us would agree that when someone listens to us, we feel better. We feel as if someone is interested in us and wants to understand our ideas, feelings, wants and needs. This is important because it creates a climate of trust. The more the customer trusts you, the more he or she will be willing to listen to your ideas and solutions. Even better, the more they share, the more information we have to resolve their complaints in ways that are satisfactory to them and us.

Listening must be about more than just listening to the words people say.

To become an effective listener we must go beyond literal content and learn to hear the intent, the emotions, and the deeper meaning others are trying to communicate. We show our customer we empathize and we understand what they are “feeling.” That’s when a deeper more satisfying customer connection is made.

Kevin An and Michael Hui, researchers at Chinese University Hong Kong, conducted a study demonstrating that three complaint handling strategies—voice, compensation and apology—have a positive effect on the customer complaint handling process. By giving the customer an opportunity to express their dissatisfaction (voice), customers consider the conflict resolution process to be fairer. An and Hui also imply that the process of listening then improves our ability to identify the right form of compensation (solution) and a meaningful way to apologize.

The value of listening is immeasurable.

As well-known management guru Tom Peters has said, "The single most strategic strength that an organization can have is a commitment to listening on the part of every member of the organization." It is the most critical capability whether we are trying to deepen customer relationships, engage employees, improve team performance, lead organization change or resolve customer conflict.

Listening creates an environment that allows solutions to appear.

It helps us go beyond the superficial response to the stated need, and helps us address the deeper, subtler, and often overlooked emotional needs. When we listen, we get the information we need to demonstrate our understanding of the customer and keep the conflict headed toward constructive resolution.

Erik Van Slyke is the founding partner of Solleva Group (www.solleva.com), experts at helping organizations plan for, implement, and manage outsourcing-driven change. With nearly two decades in consulting and HR leadership roles, his integrated approach helps business executives worldwide create, implement, and lead more effective organizational change, operational transformation and HR strategies. Regularly quoted on a variety of workplace and business strategy issues, Mr. Van Slyke’s just re-launched book, Listening to Conflict: Finding Constructive Solutions to Workplace Disputes (AMACOM Books), was named by Soundview Executive Book Summaries as one of the Top 30 business books of 1999. Mr. Van Slyke can be contacted at 609-460-4102 or erik.vanslyke@solleva.com Extended Bio...

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