HOTEL BUSINESS REVIEW
MARCH FOCUS: Hotel Human Resources

The Roller Coaster Ride of a New Leader

Moving from Threatened to Thrilled to Thriving

By Lisa Seay Founder, Element C | March 2021

As an HR leader, I've seen it time and time again. Great employees who aspire to leadership. Yet, once they achieve it, they become disenfranchised and struggle to remember why they aspired to a job that makes them feel so ill-equipped and ineffective. Sometimes, it's not an aspiration the new leader had….it was simply the next natural step or there was no one else available or qualified for the role.

New leaders often find themselves thrust into unknown territory without the necessary support to thrive. These leaders who were once bright-eyed and ready to change the world now question their own abilities, experience extreme highs and lows and often mistake the resulting missteps, self-doubt and general anxiety to mean that they're just not cut out to be a leader.

How do I know this? Because I've experienced it.

'Be careful what you wish for', I told myself not long after being given news I was being given a sought after promotion. It was early in my career and I was loving my role in the healthcare industry. One day, I said to my manager "I want to learn more and do more…and I want you to know." It wasn't too long that I found myself as the leader of a team of three, overseeing work I had not specifically done myself and wondering exactly what I had wished for.

It was the best and worst of times. Really. I couldn't believe I'd received this opportunity to lead Human Resources in the 2nd largest division of the company, which had coincidentally just been acquired. Talk about the blind leading the blind! Having no choice, I jumped in and started to learn as I went. Fast forward many years later. I've had more opportunities to lead and to be led. I've also had the privilege of supporting leaders through their challenges and opportunities.

One thing I know for sure…our world needs leaders-and not just the kind that have a title and if they're lucky, a parking spot and a corner office. This world needs people at all levels, in all environments-business and otherwise-who walk the talk, pave the way and create the change needed for our future.

Yet, there are many, like me, who find themselves in leadership, excited about the opportunity but have no real experience or background to support them in getting off to a productive and meaningful start. Or possibly, they've convinced themselves they don't have the background to be a successful leader. Soon, the excitement experienced after hearing of one's promotion quickly turns into feeling unsure, ill-equipped…essentially threatened.

When the brain senses threat, it triggers neurophysiological activity that reorganizes the brain's resources and attention so that it can focus on keeping you safe. Bet you didn't know all of that was happening? When we're simply trying to protect ourselves from threat, it's pretty hard to thrive in the midst of a perceived threat.

Old Versus New Leadership

In the 2017 Deloitte Global Human Capital Trends report, a comparison is made between the old rules of leadership vs the new rules we see in play today. Old rules, according to the report, stated that leaders must "pay their dues" to work their way up the leadership pipeline. The new rule is that leaders are identified early and given "early, outsized responsibility to test and develop their leadership skills." Once upon a time, leaders were identified and assessed based on past experience, tenure and business performance.

Now, leaders are assessed early in their careers for agility, creativity and the ability to lead and connect teams (often when they've never formally done it before). Traditionally, leaders are expected to know what to do and expected to bring judgment and experience to new business challenges. Today, experience is not necessarily king. Instead, leaders are expected to innovate, collaborate and to work through teams to find new solutions.

Interestingly enough, developing existing leaders as well as future leaders requires us to consider what workplaces look like now but what we expect them to look like in years to come. Deloitte asserts "High-performing leaders today need different skills and expertise than in generations past, yet most organizations have not moved rapidly enough to develop digital leaders, promote young leaders and build new leadership models." They go on to say that a new type of leader is needed. One who must "understand how to build and lead teams; keep people connected and engaged; and drive a culture of innovation, learning and continuous improvement. They must also be able to lead a workforce that now includes contractors, the contingent workforce, and crowd talent."

No small undertaking, to be sure.

As a coach of leaders, I've seen some common areas in which they struggle. Perhaps I've been particularly attuned because I've had the same struggles. It's important to recognize these struggles so that instead of fearing or resisting them, we can utilize them as a part of our development.

Common Struggles for New Leaders

Let's jump in.

Struggle One: You continue acting as you did before you became the leader.

When taking on a leadership role, particularly in an organization where you've already been a team member, it's a difficult transition to move away from the doing to the leading. So you keep doing your old job. There are a number of reasons this could happen. Sometimes there's no one else to take over the responsibilities you had under your previous role. Or maybe your internal and external customers just can't adjust to working with someone else-after all, you know them and it's just a quick question they have for you.

Another more subtle reason that new leaders keep doing their old job is that it's comfortable and they're good at it. And, they're not yet accomplished in their new role so it's more satisfying to do the role they know. While all of these reasons are understandable, you are not doing yourself a favor by continuing to perform at a team member level and not rising to the occasion to provide direction and oversight. It doesn't serve your team and ultimately won't serve you to avoid establishing yourself as the leader.

Struggle Two: You're unsure how to establish relationships with your team.

Perhaps you've been a part of the team and now you're the boss. Or, you're joining a new organization in a leadership role where one of the team members you're leading wanted the job and you were chosen instead. Your calendar is starting to fill up with all the meetings you have to attend because now…you're in leadership. And, there are more systems to learn, reports to complete and people to meet. Often, new leaders don't spend the time really getting to know their teams because they're consumed with the pomp and circumstance of their new role. Or, they have a hard time making the transition from "one of the gang" to the leader of the pack.

Don't miss the opportunity to learn from your team. Get to know them and find out how you can support them. Even if you think you already know what they know or what support they need. Dr. Stephen R. Covey wrote of the emotional bank account where all interactions in our relationships result in an increase or decrease in the balance of trust and connection. Therefore, all of the touchpoints we have our team have the ability to increase or decrease the trust account. All of these activities are deposits into the "trust" bank, and a healthy trust bank will be the foundation of a high-performing team.

Struggle Three: You're inexperienced in managing up.

Your leadership role requires that you not only effectively lead your team but also requires that you make sure that those above you and next to you--your peers--have the information, updates and input from your team for them to do their jobs and feel confident that you and your team are doing yours. It's a tall order, no doubt. Navigating internal politics that may exist in an organization often catches new leaders by surprise. And, having often been shielded from such things, they are completely unaware of the importance of these relationships and the appropriate way to build and manage them.

A lot of useful information exists to guide you, particularly in the area of managing your boss. For starters, even if you don't like or respect each other, it's still important to anticipate your boss' needs, disagree respectfully and perhaps most importantly, be a source of help. Managing up is not about a popularity contest or making sure you don't rock the boat. It's about leveraging your position and utilizing not just those below you but those above you to play your best game possible.

Now What?

As you can imagine, even one of these struggles can lead to a new leader feeling inadequate, judged, demoralized and just plain unfit for the position they so eagerly sought and were chosen for because of superb past performance.

But, the story can't end there. If leaders throw in the towel, decide it's just too hard, want to go back to the safety and security of not being in front, what happens to our world? We need leaders in both informal and formal roles who can influence and impact not only our workplaces, but our classrooms, communities, civic groups and the world at large.

Moving from Threatened to Thrilled to Thriving

If you are a roller coaster enthusiast (unlike me), you may particularly understand why rides that make you scream and slightly make you fear for your life are so attractive. Researcher Malcom Burt has studied this and actually found that waiting in line for that famous coaster is more frightening to people than the actual ride. He said, in reference to going on a famous roller coaster, called The Giant Drop, "I honestly feel like I'm going to cry, but I do it and what an incredible feeling you get when you get off".

Can the same be said of leadership? Is there more fear in the anticipation of the role than the actual ride itself?

You can move from the thrill of your new leadership position to thriving in it. You may take a step or two forward and then slide back. But, continue to embrace the struggles, examine the source of your fear and enlist the support you need. Like anything new, anticipate a period of trial and error. Success takes practice and repetition. As you encounter the struggles and think about how to respond, consider the following suggestions.

1. Ask for the Help You Need

Simple to say but hard to do. After all, weren't you promoted because you know everything already? Not really! In fact, in the story of my promotion into the role I wanted but wasn't sure I was ready for, my boss told me the main reason I was promoted was that they trusted me and knew I would ask questions about the things I didn't know.

Simply stated: if you wait for others to come to you to provide you with training or to answer the questions that they think you might have, you will be waiting for a while.

In the Deloitte study, it maintains that more than 44 percent of Millennials are now in leadership positions, but most believe they are receiving little to no development in their roles. Yet 54 percent of companies report they have excellent or adequate programs for Millennials. Clearly formal programs are only part of the answer and it must be the new leader's responsibility to seek out the help, internally or externally they need to thrive in the new position.

2. Engage in Continuous Learning

The constancy of change in our world demands that we are always learning new things. The way things were done yesterday are not how they will be done in the future. Continuous learning can be approached in a variety of ways. Whether it's seeking a new point of view, reading a book on a topic you're dealing with, having a conversation (not a series of text messages) about how to handle a challenging situation, you can learn something new.

I've also found that the learning may not come exactly when you seek it. Simply because you are advised to pursue a certain path or you read about what someone else has done does not mean that you have learned. Your learning will take place through the hard work of doing. By engaging in the work, with the people who do the work to obtain the best outcome possible, you cannot help but learn. But, stay diligent. Seek opportunities to do things you haven't done before with people you haven't done them with.

3. Leave a Legacy

Never forget that your role as a leader, whether or not you're making more money or you have a fancy title, is vital. And you've taken it on for a reason. Step into the challenge, for by doing so, you have the opportunity to make a difference and to leave a legacy. It could be that one day in the far distant future, someone you're interacting with today becomes a better leader because of your example. Or, something is accomplished because of your vision and tenacity to see it through. You may not be recognized for it and you may feel like it's more work than it's worth, but when you believe in something and you believe in the people doing it, it's always worth it.

Whether you feel ready to be the boss or not, you can make this opportunity one where you will either win and if you don't have the exact outcome you had hoped, you'll learn. Through this process, you'll impact those around you in ways you may never know. And, more importantly, you'll learn that experiencing the thrill that can come with threat will only serve to help you thrive as a leader now and in the future.

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Notwithstanding the foregoing, any and all disputes, which the parties cannot informally resolve, regarding the scope of issues or matter with the jurisdiction of the arbitrator, shall be resolved by a separate dispute resolution process whereby HotelExecutive, in its sole discretion shall elect the dispute to be resolved by either (1) a court of competent jurisdiction in the State of California or (2) a panel of three new arbitrators.

This Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of California notwithstanding any conflict of laws provisions. You and HotelExecutive agree that the venue for all legal disputes, controversies, actions of any kind arising under or related to this Agreement shall be San Francisco, California. You and HotelExecutive further agree that in case of any litigation regarding this Agreement, you irrevocably and unconditionally (i) consent to submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the state and federal courts in the County of San Francisco, California for any litigation or dispute arising out of or relating to this Agreement, (ii) agree not to commence any litigation arising out of or relating to this Agreement except in the California Courts, (iii) agree not to plead or claim that such litigation brought therein has been brought in an inconvenient forum, and (iv) agree the California Courts represent the exclusive jurisdiction for all litigation relating to this Agreement.

11. MEMBERSHIP FEES

Hotel Business Review Subscriptions

If you choose to purchase a subscription, member subscription payments can be made in U.S. Dollars, as well as a variety of international currencies. Membership terms are Annual Recurring, and Monthly Recurring. The Annual Recurring subscription is an annual commitment and subscribers will be charged each consecutive billing cycle. Annual Recurring subscriptions can be cancelled after the first billing cycle and within 30-days of the billing date for a full refund. Monthly Recurring subscriptions are ongoing and subscribers will be charged each consecutive monthly billing cycle. Monthly Recurring subscriptions can be cancelled after the first month and within 7 days of the monthly billing cycle for a full refund.

12. PAYMENT AUTHORIZATION

Payment for the services provided to you in, at, through or in association with HotelExecutive may be made by automatic credit card, debit card, direct debit, bankwire or Paypal and other approved payment means offered in, at, through or in association with HotelExecutive, and you hereby authorize HotelExecutive and its agents to transact such payments on your behalf.

You hereby authorize HotelExecutive's Internet Payment Service Provider to charge your credit card to pay for your membership to HotelExecutive. You further authorize HotelExecutive's Internet Payment Service Provider to charge your credit card for any and all purchases of products, services in association with HotelExecutive. You agree to be personally liable for all charges incurred by you in association with your access or other use of any content provided by HotelExecutive or any third party in association with HotelExecutive. You acknowledge and agree that your liability for all such charges shall continue after termination of your access or any type of membership arrangement with HotelExecutive.

In the event that you have chosen to have your membership automatically rebilled, unless and until you notify HotelExecutive that you wish to cancel or terminate your membership to HotelExecutive, you hereby agree and authorize HotelExecutive's Internet Payment Service Provider to automatically renew your membership to HotelExecutive on a continuing basis and to charge your credit card (or other payment means you have selected) to pay for the ongoing cost of your membership. You hereby further authorize HotelExecutive's Internet Payment Service Provider to charge your credit card (or other approved payment means you have selected) for any and all purchases of products, services and entertainment provided to in, at, through or in association with HotelExecutive.

13. PRIVACY POLICY

The following is the Privacy Policy for HotelExecutive

We can be reached via telephone, email, or online at our contact page. When you visit our site we do not log any information regarding your domain or email address. Information Sharing: We do not share user information with any third parties other than via press release distribution as described below.

Hotel Newswire is a newswire service that distributes press releases on behalf of our users. If you decide to submit a press release for distribution through our system we will transmit your entire press release including any personal information therein contained to our media contacts and online distribution points including search engines. This is the only redistribution of your information that we engage in. Your submission of press releases through our system indicates consent with this policy. The information we collect during your registration process is used to notify users about updates to our service and inform users of any special events hosted by Hotel Newswire. This information is not shared with other organizations for commercial or non-commercial purposes.

Cookies: Our system requires the use of cookies to enable the user to log back into our website to access information from the newswire, without having to log in each time using the required username and password.

If you do not want to receive email from us in the future, please let us know by following instructions included in our communication with you. Users who supply us with telephone numbers online may receive telephone contact from us regarding their account, or informing them of new products and services available on the HotelExecutive website. If you do not wish to receive such telephone calls, please edit your account and remove your phone number from your account profile. This can be done from your user account menu.

Ad Servers: We do not partner with or have any relationship with any ad server companies. From time to time, we may use customer information for new uses not previously disclosed in our privacy notice. If our information practices change at any time, we will post the policy changes to our website to notify you of these changes and provide you with the ability to opt out of these new uses. If you are concerned about how your information is used, you should check back at our website periodically.

Upon request we provide site visitors with access to all information (including proprietary information) that we maintain about them. Users can access this information by logging in to their account.

Security: We always use industry-standard encryption technologies while transferring and receiving user data exchanged with our site. We have appropriate security measures in place in our physical facilities to protect against the loss, misuse, or alteration of information that we have collected from you on our site. We do not store credit card information in our systems.

If you feel that this site is not following its stated information policy, you may contact us.

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